Tonight I got drunk, I danced, I clubbed. All in all, it was an interesting experience.
The latest episode of Lie To Me had an interesting ending, where Tim Roth's character (one "Dr. Lightman") wrote that he understood very little, least of all those close to him. I too will admit, I understand very little. I see people and I know what they feel, happy, sad, angry, annoyed, aroused, excited, but all in all I understand very little. I know they are experiencing something, but I do not understand. I know I am required to do certain things at certain times, but do I understand? Of course not. Do any of us? I don't know. But people seem to.
It seems as if almost everybody I meet was handed a blue-print to behaviours, a list of requirements, of responses and of reactions. And it seems I missed that handing out, missed the instructions, missed that which is needed to be...well, human. I have to make due with what I can figure out by myself. If anything, being an unknowing outsider has made me stronger, more alert, aware and adaptive.
I will gladly dance, in a loud club it is a benefit to dance. In a loud club, you can't hear the words people say with any ease, their tonality is barely noticeable, all you have is body language. That means 2/3rds of my wasted social energies can be redirected to body language (both mine and theirs) and other attentions. This is a boon, is it not? It's simpler, it lets me relax my efforts. At worst I can redirect them to other social elements, at best I can redirect them to more important elements. Things may be not harder, may be not easier, but there is a simplicity to it none the less.
Maybe that is why others find clubbing so interesting, or maybe they are other reasons. Again, maybe they get something inherently "deeper" out of the experience. As I said, I know but I do not understand. Human life occurs all around me, and I can not help but watch. An outsider looking in, and I wouldn't want it any other way.